Friday, April 14, 2006

Quirky Thoughts

Recently I was stuck smack at the back cabin of Ben's Kangoo when the discussion between the passengers in front turned in to the topic of "Parking Attendant". Being a driver myself, this topic seemed to be of interest, all time.

The usual hypothesis goes: How to make sure your vehicle do not get the 'Golden Slip'? I will refer to those Parking Attendants as "Parkingsons"

Therefore, I decided to take some moment to think and I came out with these solutions:

  • Because Parkingsons usually need to lift up your wiper in order to clamp the golden slip to your windscreen, before you leave your car, take out that jar of bird goo you collected under that raintree, and using the tip of a brush, apply generoulsy these goo to your wiper, leaving no space unapplied. The parkingsons seeing that they will dirty their fingers lifting the wiper, will most likely leave your car for the next.
  • Remove your wipers and leave it in your car before you walk away.
  • Take out 10 of your previous slips and summon yourself first. The parkingson might feel sorry for you.
  • This is from Ben: Invent a nobel winning machine that can sense a parkingson approaching and it will tear the coupon automatically using the latest time.
  • Invent a sensor to make the car alarm sound so loud when the parkingson approach, people will just think the parkingson is up to no good, being responsible for many car thefts. After all, they are the ones who can linger around a car and no one will be suspicious. They could be looking at that laptop or PDA inside.
  • If you are able to afford, everytime a parkingson snaps that golden slip to your car, make the car explode, thereby bringing peace up one level to singaporean and decreasing the strength of the enemy.
  • This was inspired by the movie KEEPING MUM. When the parkingson approaches, a sensor will set off a dagger right into the parkingson's heart from your bonnet (best for WRX with the open vent), again, bringing peace to singaporeans and decreasing the strength of the enemy.
  • Lastly, when the parkingson stands in front of your car and punches those buttons, invent and auto mechanism to release the hand brake and engage first gear for 1 meter. It will certainly knock that parkingson down and break the leg.

Disclaimer: Use at your own risk. This is my intellectual fantasies. If you are caught doing it, die a martyr.


Blogger bYzAnT|N3 said...

Wahahaaa.... Parkingsons BEWARE Darnie the Sliencer

6:57 PM  
Blogger Chris said...

wah... violent siah.. they are making a living too ma.. =P

2:14 PM  
Blogger Darnie Pig said...

hahaaha,.... intellectual fantasies only wwjd... hahaha

12:43 AM  

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