The Guys' Rules At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally, the guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.) We always hear "the rules" From the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note...these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Men ARE not mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months IS a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine... Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, Or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

SMU Student Intern Scores It Big

Singapore, Singapore Management University - Students from the Singapore Management University (SMU) are required to go through a 10-week internship program with companies in order to graduate. Many students gave feedback that it was a wonderful opportunity to peek into the real corporate world and it served as a stepping stone for them.

Daniel, a 4th year management undergraduate, did his internship with Singapore's third largest 5-start hotel, the Pan Pacific Singapore during his summer term last year. As a Marketing and Corp Comm major student, he landed himself with the Human Resource department instead.

"I liked the hospitality industry. I think it is a mistake to let your major determine what you want to experience in, for example, an internship. I see it that I get to experience a whole new thing altogether. A hotel, and HR, which is new to me," said the proud student ,"In fact, I would say many of my skills was relevant in the HR department!"

While many students complained about doing basic jobs like photocopying during their course of internship, Daniel comments, "I did those mundane jobs but I did them well. They are like foundation. How do you do engineering if you never learn about arithmethic?" "In the end, I did great things like taking over the Internal Communications, planning staff events and even took part in the office renovation projects!"

Daniel also boasted how he even found time to speak to guests and even followed a chinese guests around Marina to buy a phonecard. "I truely immerse myself in the hotel's philosophy about genuine care! I felt empowered even though I am an intern, and so I walked out during office hour to show him around Marina. In the end, he offered to host me should I go to Beijing!"

Ask about his overall experience, Daniel says "I felt totally great. I loved the hotel. I loved my department. I had chance to even sit in a management trainee presentation, all because they trusted me and said I earned it." Daniel was ultimately presented a Testimonial from his Director, and also given a special bonus by the Hotel. He even recieved a Letter of Appreciation by the General Manager for a job well done during a staff event.

- Reporting by J. Lucas and additional reporting by Maylene

SINGAPORE BREAKING NEWS

Singapore, Nayang Technological University - The Singapore Nanyang Technological University made headlines all over Singapore when a video secretly shot at a Lecture hall leaked into the internet. The university refused to comment on why lessons can be so funny. Speculations suggests that perhaps the university is trying to model Singapore Management University, where students and lecturers have closer relationships.

Many parents believe that school can be fun and need not be boring, and suggests that lecturers can do their extra bit to chip in some fun. As the clip shows, the lecuturer was very open and funny.

Daniel, a 4th year SMU student comments, "I just hope that this clip will not start a whole load of fun when the appraisal season starts...haha."

- Ninja Turtle

Confessions of the Heart

MacChicken MealSecret BeachRoachesRatsDogsLifeGeekMiloPromise

Darnie Network is appealing for articles written by YOU. It can be anything, satire, jokes, stories, your experieces etc... it nv ends. Send in photos, tell us about it. Appropriate articles will be posted on Darnie Network, seen by millions of net surfers. Make yourself known! You can be as famous as as you want to be!

Send articles, photos etc to rihua.lin.2003@business.smu.edu.sg

Include your name so I can give credit to you.

Darnie Network Inc.

Singapore, Singapore Management University (SMU) - Darnie Network Star X.clusive managed to catch up with renowed musician Daniel Lin over coffee at the Singapore Management University today. At 24 years of age, Daniel had performed on the keyboards to as much as a 7,000 strong audience. His audience include Banyan Tree Chairman Mr Ho Kwon Ping, SMU President Mr Howard Hunter as well as Dr Magaret Chan, famous for her tagline, "I'll crush you like a c'roach."

The interview was a high hearted affair as this 24 yr old certainly had a young heart.

Q: How did you come to play the piano?
A: I guess the artist Yanni inspired me. His performance at the acropolis make me went wow..and I decided I want to play the piano. So I picked it up myself.

Q: Jitters when playing?
A: Not really... I've played to 7000. But I guess if I had to play to my someone special... i would have my heart in my shoes. Hahaha.

Q: Anyone special?
A: Not really... I guess I am pretty dense? Someone said that about me. I dunno if I am attractive enough. SMU or church is pretty competitive and the guys just get better, and the gals choosier. I just hope my piano playing can melt some hearts. *grinz*

Q: Any upcoming performances?
A: On the 28th Oct, i will be performing with Janiel for Virtuoso finals. Last year, we were the champion team. We hope we can make history again. It is both our last year in SMU.

Q: Dreams for the world?
A: All will bow and worship Jesus.

Q: Lastly, encouraging words for people?
A: We all are not perfect. I lose to other people in many ways. But I have a talent that is my own precious treasure. You will have one if you take time to discover. It can be looks, but it can be an attitude or a skill. Be happy about yourself. Life is what you make it out to be. We all die at a certain age. Nothing is certain, only death. So, go and make a difference and make someone happy.

Daniel appeals for all to support him and jamiel in the upcoming competition. To know more about Daniel, visit his website at darnie.blogspot.com

Reporting by Jared Samuelson

DARNIE Street Report: Meow!!

Singapore, Geylang - Owners of cars parked along the food street at Geylang area returned to their cars with mixed reactions over the past weeks. Their reaction is not surprising. Over 40 owners of cars reported that a syndicate of cats protested over the IMF and Animal Rights issues. These cats reportedly climb onto cars, mainly expensive ones, from WRX to Benz, and make their bed there.

"I am afriad to drive off! The cat would not move!," said Mr Samuel, who returned to his WRX with a cat stuck to its top. Apparently, this act of nonsense will stop once the Singapore government issues a statute to allow protesting as a legal activity. Experts says damages claimed from insurance companies following these freak events involving paw scratches amounted to S$40,000 over the past few weeks since the protest started.

Leader of this protest is Garfield, the ring leader of the cat society. "Meow meow meow... meow meow meow," said Garfield. It seems that while many members participate as a protest, many simply love the texture of the smooth rooftops. - Geredson Smith

You know who you are. You ask if I am hungry. Amidst your tiredness, you bought Fish Burger meal. It is way past midnight when most people are sleeping. You have a test later on in the day. You are tired after a day's work. You pulled over in the Camry. You called to pass me my burger meal, so that I have energy for the day. You know who you are.

Thank You!

BBC Home News Prime Time

Mixed Identity: Woe or What? Reporting by Fegerson Smith
What happend when you are 24 years of age and your 22 year old friend mistook you for being 19? What happen if in your years of college and people mistook you for a university graduate? This was the case for Darnie, a 24 year old SMU undergraduate in his 4th year of study.

"I have a mixture of feelings, and I do not know how to go about it," explains Darnie. Having gone through much of the experieces, he confesses he is not positive towards looking 'young'. His baby face got many people mistaking him for younger than he is. He is not alone. All around Singapore, many people do not look their age.

However, for Darnie, he hopes that he can overcome it. "I cannot ask God to change my face right?" said Darnie.

BBC PTN

CNN BREAKING NEWS, 16 Oct 2006

Safety Issue Top of Mind
Safety went to the next level for cyclist buddies Davin, Shaoxiang and Darnie. "We wanted him to try some offroads like BT or perhaps even Pulau Ubin, and suggested that safety is paramount and that a helmet can do just that," said Shaoxiang. "I thought that is was a waste of money, but since it is a one off thing and it does provide safety, why not?" said Darnie, who spent a whopping $80 on a GIRO helmet, after Davin and Shaoxiang threatened not to let him leave Tay Cycle if he does not buy one.

Every year, cyclists have been known to die from fatal injuries that could have had been prevented by wearing safety gears. However, lousy drivers of today in Singapore is posing more harm to road users and cyclists alike. Those in motor cars still think they own the road, since they pay road tax. So be it such a Singapore society.

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CNN BREAKING NEWS

Barnabas Leader caught in the act!
Sources released the news that 2 Barnabas Club leaders were caught sleeping during a small group session today. Daniel and Joshua are both leaders of primary 5 childrens. When the third leader was leading the session, the duo dozed off in the middle of the meeting, creating much peace in the group. "I am really tired," said Daniel, who had a very late night prior. Nontheless, the duo confessed that they should have had an earlier night, so as to give the kids the best. Together, the 3 leaders are well loved by the kids and had been making an impact in their lives.

Worship Team goes into Emergency mode
The Faith Community Baptist Church youth service saw a tense moment when the bass went missing the moment the praise and worship started. Apparently, a kick detached the bass cable from the main system and no one noticed it. Keyboardist Daniel said, "I was so worried that I used the keyboard to play the bass sound." Nonetheless, the church worshipped in spirit and in truth. It was a great learning experience for the worship team, that despite technical problems, nothing is too great for God. Eventually, the problem was fixed. The service ended with a resounding praise as the church sang to 'Majesty'.

Emily meets Daniel
They known each other only for weeks. Being in the same school does not mean they have much opportunities to see each other face to face. However, after the youth service, Emily managed to find Darnie, and had a enjoyable chat at the church's cafe. Darnie introduced the G12 members to Emily. "It is really different seeing one another face to face," said Darnie, "and I really treasure the opportunity. She has been of great encouragement to me on MSN and through SMS, and nothing beats sitting down with a friend face to face over coffee." Friends of Darnie mention that Darnie is more of a hermit, preferring not to mingle with people and making new friends. "He does not have a life," said Benster, his cell leader, "I often tell him that he should be more confident and have a life. Even going to Orchard Road means having a life and he does not really have a life." Shujun, his friend since TPJC mentions, "Darnie can be pretty dense... especially when it comes to girls. We had to bring him shopping simply because he does not know how to. He gets lost in Orchard Road." When asked to comment, Darnie replied, "I am just being me, but I am glad I had friends who cared for me and accept me for who I am. Deep down, I really appreciate when people ask me to join them for activities. I am alone but not lonely, but at times I am not too sure about the latter."

Orbituary

Danielle

Departed 13.10.2006

Deeply missed by all

You've been a great Hamster, bringing joy to the family.

We will remember you always.

Today.... She came and used my table...

Today... He came and tested my bed and violin...

And they left me a nice gift... =D

10 things about my life...

Topic #1: Ben is safely out of the Hospital. His Kangoo is a wooping gay purple color now. Nothing can be gayer than that. Enuff said! Hahaha...

Topic#2: My hamster has given up. Rest in peace, hammy. =(

Topic#3: I have not eaten at home for months. I hate it and enjoy it. Mixed feelings.

Topic#4: Year 4 in SMU liao, still single. Woooooo....

Topic#5: I hate projects. I hate meetings.

Topic#6: I need a gooooooooooooooood hug. Real one please... stop the MSN emoticons..cheap.

Topic#7: My room still looks like a hotel, if it is tidy, of course.

Topic#8: I want my own car. Then I realise nobody owe me a car and I have no means of getting one. So... shuddup.

Topic#9: I feel very tired always. I have chest pains. At times I cannot breathe for almost 5mins. My lips are always dry but I drink alot of water. Symptoms of diabetes and perhaps some kidney problems. I am prepared anyway.

Topic#10: I just feel happy to have good friends. But where are they?

Lousy Holidaz

Tihs hloiday is ralely lsouy to the core. I cnanot belveie taht amlsot ervey day I hvae to go bcak to soochl. Fnrkaly sekapnig, I htae it.

STRINGS BLENDED

It was a success like never before. Guitar ensemble, Strings ensemble, quartet, student composition, Storm rock band... and awed audience. A resounding success for the concert by Obligato and Guitarissimo. Nothing to say. People want more!
We had our post celebration at Frujch which is a smu student owned pub at SMU. accessible to public i think. VERY GOOD DECOR and cheap beer and drinks and finger food. Please go. You will not regret it. Free pool and $1 air hockey, sofa, games, Tv...music..pwoer!