Oh my Oh my...

She drove the SUV into the federal carpark. Took her awhile on the spot to straighten the large SUV. I walked pass her. I pointed to the wheel. She did not understand. It was not straight. I gestured more to show her just that. She was confused. My gestures got so big that she decided to move her head to see the wheels.

*OUCH* There she goes. She moved her head to see the wheels. Good move. But the window wasa still there. *OUCH*

******************************************

I confess I have poor time management. And I am slacking so much I am loosing myself. I have to start holding myself up and put in more effort. No one and nothing should be blamed. Because I am the one given the responsibility of handling my 24hours.

Daniel. You can feel angered about the excessive events and meetings holding up your time. But blame yourself for wasting what is given to you.

******************************************

When I needed someone for supper or to watch a movie, I feel I am so unlike others. Because I cannot readily find friends to be with. Yes there are some, but in general, I am poor in that sense. What is wrong with me man? Made too little friends? Or simply not able to make friends? And I like to be alone at times, but I love company too. Must only physical popularity or money 'pay' for friends.

******************************************

I am really tired. I am tired of making sure I appear with a smiling face to people around me. I am tired of being strong and ok in front of others. I am tired of being a good person to others at the expense of myself. I am tired of this sickening chase and this sickening round about. I am tired of this sickening war with myself. I am sick of this disease eating me slowly to my grave.

******************************************

Little Red is coming. Little Yellow might have to go. =(

******************************************

Like Father Like Son....

Dad: Ar u confirm kangoo red color?
Darnie: Grandma like red... but i am ok with anything... you?
Dad: I bk already. Next wk hve new kangoo :-D!
Darnie: Thanks daddy... when are we buying the new camry?
Dad: SOON!
Darnie: Mother will kill you or not? i like the royal crown....
Dad: 3000 cc. Walau! Drk petrol like water! Tabolea tahan.
Darnie: But I like!

The following smses are reproduced without any alterations and should not be reproduced in any other fashion and is only good for personal use.

Oh man. My eyes are really tired! I spent the last hour reading the instructional manual for a blood glucose self-test kit. It is for my grandma. I did the test and it revealed 12.8 which is not optimal, meaning it is too high a glucose level for her. Oh gosh!! Asked her not to eat too much sugar content food. May my God that I worship keep her in health and happiness. Tomorrow is another trip with her to the market again..heeheee.

My friends. Please treasure those people you love. Ever since my grand dad passed away. I have regretted not being there for him. All those Old Chang Kee curry puffs cannot exchange for time being spent. I have not been beside him enough. I have not talked enough to him. Sometime I showed tantrum at him. All he needed was company in that big flat. Why did I just not spend a few minutes each day. Why did I just stare at the computer everyday?

When the time came for him to go. I was almost in confusion. Few hours back I was looking at him in his sleep. I talked to him, he glanced at me and fell back into sleep. All the while he held my hands tight. It was as if he knew that moment with me was so precious. He knew it. But I did not. I thought he would be well and back again soon. And he went. My grandmother was totally upset and cried like mad. And I was there in the corner. He is gone. Forever.

I promise not to let this happen again. That is why I said, please treasure those around you. Especially those our society call old folks and all. If you would just sit and this about all the little things they did. Cutting your nails, cooking that simple meal. You add them up and you will know how much they love you. Their life they loved you so much. All they wanted, that you say u loved them, bring them out for supper, talk with them about the show they are watching. Letting them know that they are your family members, one that you love, not what some families calls burden. If you have to spend all your savings on their medical bills, do it! If you have to wake early to bring them to market, do it! Dun be a selfish heartless prick!!!

Dear Father, mother, grandma and grand-dad, I love you all so much.

Dad, when I can, I will buy you your dream car. A lexus or something.
Mum, maybe a cafe for you to run and manage?
Ahma, ok I will bring you to market or Yishun for majong!!!
Ahgong, I love you always and remember you always.

Today, dad, mum, grandma and I went to the Renault Kangoo showroom and saw the new turbo kangoos. Nice and cute man. The Peugeout ones cannot fight la. Guess we will buy the Renault anyway. Then my dad, as usual, dragged us into the Toyota showroom and we surveyed the CAMRY and the 2004 ROYAL CROWN! They are just awesome. I saw in the driver's seat and it felt like haven!!! Gosh will my dad upgrade to this car? He mentioned the ROYAL CROWN is cheaper than our previous E-Class. And I agree that it is totally posh and wow!!! I WANT TO DRIVE THIS CAR!!!!!!

SMU life still sucks. Whole week I was in school for meetings. Some meetings are super unproductive cos our brains are just not working!!!! Oh the Dean's List Daniel, please awaken!!! I do agree that I have becomed slack. Too love sick maybe?

This is the 2004 Toyota Royal Crown I saw... I have updated this as the dream car of mine as from now on. =P

Do you know how precious to me are those moments I am given to spend with you? Every chance that comes my way I hold them close like precious jewels. Every little incoveniences I see them only as joyous celebration. To hear you speak of your desires I listen like the soothing chirping of the morning birds. Even in silence, the sight of you is like tranquile oceans that calms the mind. I will be forever grateful, for every single second just to be with you. No need for extravagence, just a little meal or a little greeting. These moments, like precious jewels I yearn for, inside my heart. Always. - Daniel

I do not know if all that I've done is enough
But in my mind I feel at least that it is right
While at times I might have thought otherwise
These I've done I felt was at least safe enough
The little wispers reflected from you as I've done
Are little more than just the turbulance of the winds
The little light that reflects from you as I've done
Are little more than the splitting slice from the prism cut
The big outside suggest that it is not enough
That this lack of mine will cost my prize
I have believed at times this cruel reply
That this lack of mine will indeed take its toll
But I really cannot do more
Than what I feel you are able to take and hold
Just as that more I want to give
I'm afraid that it is the very thing you fear
How long must I wait
To ever hear your true wisper?
How long must I stare
To just catch that amber glow?
Hope is my faith as is it my only reason
But what really sadens
Is when this hope exists for
Nothing more than just a reason
Without a final plan drawn for it

-Daniel

What is happening to me???

I am just turning Lazy. All my friends in SMU knew, that Darnie will never skip class or whatsoever. But there is this stupid useless subject called "International Economics Gimmick of the Century" that did just that. In a week, I skipped 2 half session. Firstly it was because of the mid-terms coming up, opportunity cost justifies it. Lastly it is last day before term-break... you know what i mean.

Today this mean S/O Steven in SMU booked my van. Cmmon!! A commercial vehicle must be unloading if it is at the double yellow line!!!! Dun you have patience?!?!!?!!?! If you clamp it... I will...... Do you not care about we poor SMU students??!!? huh?!

Singaporean drivers just like to horn.... they did that to me just now. I can keep my cool. Why do they have to horn? Horn nvm, why they keep on horning. Do they not know that I dun care... simply because I am sandwiched btw them and the stationary car in front? Singaporean drivers are without brains. They do not know that when they horn, the driver in front doesnt care, and the whole estate is scolding vulgarities at the one horning. Singaporean drivers are without brains really.

Thank God for rain, today to cool the place... and wash the van...heeheee.

The Rainbow Connection

I shall not be ashamed and be affected, by what others say, when all boys are rocking their pants and puffing around girls, that I am here listening to "Rainbow Connections". Yes I wanna be that Kermit the frog. At least he's a great guy(creature?) well loved by all...

I wished I had the chance to sing this to her all by myself. Just me and my piano. So I did it in Haven Lounge today. E.piano and Daniel's voice. A Mic and some reverb. In G Major. Then the comment came from the malaysian prodigy. He said my voice suited the range and I sounded $#%#$^! good. I choose to believe him and I am glad~! "...someday we find it, the rainbow connection..."

Ok the Mktg test is over, the Finance test and presentation is over. CAT. Meow!!!! I will trust what Winlin said. And I hope that tomorrow will work out just fine! =P

This morning, some shit appeared on the windscreen. The wiper could not do the job. ARGH! Then a rain came while I was in the Lib. Then the miracle happened. The shit was gone!!!! Woohoohohooo!!

Finally to this friend of mine, if you ever see this blog...

"Smile, like I asked you to. Yes, that shape I made on my face. I know you tried to smile. But please, not your face, but your heart. I will never know what really happened. But from what you shared with those you know of, and from at least how I felt, I sense you are struggling. I dunno if you are overcoming, or lost in the mess. But please, smile from the heart. No one guy should make you live with such hurt, so, smile from the heart. And your life will shine together with that smile. The spring will awaken, leaving the cold winter.... see you tomorrow"

Awww... Isn't this guy just cute or whatever, behind the drumset?

Why do the two winds pass and not twirl?
If they do not twirl, they do not pass.
If they are to pass, they must twirl like greeting.
They pass near and not far.
Not far then what gap exist?
That these winds cannot greet?
If they pass and not twirl,
Chances are they will never greet.
Cross the globe, like eternity.
To greet again is almost uncertain.

-Daniel

From left: (1)Alex, also known as the monkey. Usually spotted swinging with a guitar with a monkey head on the strap. Appears high usually in a passage of Guitar Lead solos. Can be spotted in SMU lib most of the times. (2)Malaysian talent Bubong, here to break most singaporean's rice bowls, has a very talented ears for playing piano after hearing only the music. Usually flirty, but reading his blog makes him somewhat on a upper class than most normal homosepiens. (3) Claire, also know as XX, is red chilli padi hot. Spot her having a smoke, at maybe if you are lucky, playing a flute for the butterfly lover's concertolacileicwer@#$@#!$. How do you spell?! Anyway, she loves beer and has alot to tell about the toilets in China. (4)Daniel, usually spotted everywhere in SMU, is well known for his brown eyes. His talents is a summation of all that is mentioned in this caption. He is rich, but not in the money sense.(5)Bernadism, a religion headed by Bernard, speaks of the truth being the false and of the false being the truth. If A not B, then B not C. While looking torn and wasted, he claims he has a knowledge of classical guitar. Spot him singing or playing the guitar with his band from SF in SMU anytime anywhere. Has the luxury of listening to Daniel rant about his life. (Courtesy of MEW)

Ok here is photo session again! Woohooo!! Remember I mentioned the ugly TJC uniform bassist in my band? That's junmin on the left! Ain't he cute? (I AM NOT GAY!) On the right is the BOH. Benjamin Oh! He and I had a long history. Our days of hating one another for liking the same girl, to being in the same cell over 2 churches, staying near one another, "sea cucumber incident", and all our little "dark secrets". That is he on the right. The guitar millionaire. His skills rocks your pants down. I feel inspired to dedicate a series of blog posting to describing him. And please. I am not gay. I am perfectly normal and crazy over a girl. =)

So Happy! Yeah right!

Oh man, I am so happy I need to post this post. Today is such a beautiful sunday. Pple walking dogs and cats, couples shopping for valentines gift and of course families lou hei ah!

I was overjoyed as I reached school to spend my sunday in SMU GSR doing my finance project! What more can I ask? Prof mentioned that a good 5 hours will be all that is needed to finish it! No report no nothing. Just a good presentation, with a 1-page technical writeup. GREAT!

Today is the 3rd meeting and we are only 80% done. Why are we 80% done today, because I just made it 80% a few minutes ago. After spending the whole day in school, I was overjoyed once again as I spend my entire NIGHT UNTIL NOW doing my Monte Carlo Model for this project. To expand a cafe in Punggol or in Cine-Leisure. AWESOME!!!!!!!

Thanks to me being such a brainer who just learned Excel in CAT, I am the driver for this team!! YEAH!!! or is it? (or the slave to the knowledge of this team). I always have the word of wisdom for my freshies and even my own friends.

"In SMU, every project is your OWN project"... This is the only way to dean's list. Or is it? Or to awesome sleepless nights and hungry stomach and weight loosing regime? I am so glad!

I am just so gald to have this kind of mentality. All the way, no need to talk about fairness. Do it for yourself!!!! Just do it. Nike says it.

Darnie the Piano Man

Why piano man? Today played 2 events on the piano. How more should I explain?

Mr Hiong Bong and Doris got married today!!! I had such a wonderful opportunity to be part of this great event by being their wedding pianist. Not solo, but in a band. These chaps are from my former church - Bedok Lutheran Church. Me and Ben were from there last time. Saw so many uncomfortable familiar faces!!! hahaha...

Such a wonderful grand piano! The sound produced in just crisp. Should have taken photo!! ARGH!!! Although we missed the buffet and photo taking session, because of the need to rush for church service, we got a pretty handsome hong pao for playing. Heehee.

While rushing to church, Ben drove so fast in his kangoo in front of me that I was tempted and took on 70km/h. 60 is the limit and just as i reached 70, this traffic police car 2 lanes from me sped pass. I did what all would, slow down ... hahaha. I hope that guy is not going to fine me or anything. Cmmon!!! it is just 10 over the limit! ARGH!

Playing for service today was just awesome. Although hiccups did occur, we enjoyed every moment! What a joy and I love my band so much!!!

Ben the electric guitarist - The anchor for this band. And my all time buddy through thick and thing. Not to mentioned we fought over the same gal b4. This guy is just great and I LURV him! (Hey I am not gay ok).

Peter the drummer - He is like having spasm everytime he is on the drums. Just so expressive. I give him the expressive award. This guy is just great too!

Phoebe - My new co-keyboardist, cute and gentle. But here for us to bully... heh...enough said. Coming to SMU i think!

Junmin - The guy in the ugly TJC uniform, youngest of us all, plays the bass. Faithful and a gentle guy. Study hard brother!

Allen - A not so chinese acoustic guitarist, often kena from ben because of his high guitar standard.

There you have it, my KYROS band. I just love them and I never want to play in any other bands other than them. Because they are just great!!!!!!

This guy. NOT ME LA! Is Charlie Bird. From Messengers Band. Why I feature him? Cause this guy is so far the only keyboardist from our youth corhort whom I can say his playing rockz! When he plays the organ esp, gosh, just beautiful. And this guy is homorous too!! Kinda always get bullied by us too. Try to tickle him and hold him down. You'll get what I mean. Charlie Bird, rock on with the keyboard!

In your presence
Is where warmth I embrace
And embrace this you
It is with you
That sun burns with hope
And the future has its peace
Into your heart
I want to beat with you
And feel with you
It is with you
I want two to be one
And that for eternity
When the shadows torment
We will stand strong
For one is two and two is strong
When the ground breaks
We will leap on faith
For it bonds with strength to achieve
It is you I really deisre
For this desire is really you
And this you I cannot give up

-Daniel

Chinese New Year Day 3

Lousy!!! Firstly, total ang pao revenue is <$200. Friends around me get $800 plus, $300 plus... Then, I am pretty bored at home with no friends to join for any activities. Lousy!!!

Just Day 3 and we are back in school!!! Whoohooo!!! SMU!!! Firstly, the foodcourts are almost all shut down and we poor students are left to die in the wilderness while trying to press on for boring and confusing and really senseless seminars and project meetings!!! CAT really made me MEOW!!!! and International Econs is my greatest foe. I will blast a canon ball right into this useless subject. *PUI*

Today had my first chance of tearing 6 parking coupons! Heart pain like never b4!!! Is this going to happen everytime I go church? Gosh!!!! money money money... is the world really about money?

Guess what? Halfway through my Finance project, I heard the sweetest voice on earth through the phone!! Wahahahaahha!! Dunno what it means? NVM. For me to know, for you to find out. As my brother always says!

It is GREAT to know that after the New Year week, those strangling tests and projects are coming and soon it will eat your beloved weekends!!! Fight them!!! Wage a raging war!!!!!! Chiong ah!!!!!!!!!!

Valentine's this monday. I wish all couples a great time or treasuring your partner and to love them. And for my friends, I love u all for I know friends around me I really treasure. For me, it is friendship day that I celebrate. to =) or to =( ??? Well, lets take both. haha!!! ARGH!!! Goondooo Darnie.... go get occupied doing other meaningful things!!!!

Ok this picture was taken last year Chinese New Year. From left, my lao pa whom is my source of survival on this earth! Then 3rd brother, whom shares passion about sports car as I do. Then lao ma, whom endorses thrift in the family, but splurge sometimes when the mind goes mad. Next is me, enough said as too much good things to say. Then my ahma whom i love super much, will fetch her anywhere in Singapore when on demand. Then 2nd brother, whom has a jap girlfriend!! Then Sister-in-law and my 1st brother(Her love). not to forget, my maid who took this picture..

New Year Day 1

Collection this year is pretty bad! Haha. 2 from my family and 3 from relatives. Blame it on my family's declining deisre to visit around. We went to one place only today. I am not even opening to check the amounts, but it would suffice to pay the diesel.

Anyway, we 4 brothers and my sis-in-law we went to watch Constantine. Really a good show with crappy stuffs that I dun understand. But it definately is distorting the Christian religion. For this, I give this show a negative rating.

We managed to force dad and mum into watching I do I do. I think they are cinema idiots. After all, they have not been in one for over more than 10 years. I bought them 2 cheese hotdogs and a coke! Muhahahahah!!! Time for them to ignite the valentine passion again!!! come to think of it, I'm gonna have a lonely one this year. Most prob spend with myself by the poolside reading newspaper.

I am bored bored bored and wishing friends would ask me out. None till this moment. Gonna bring 2 beer to poolside. Bro and sis-in-law waiting for me. They say it is shiok down there.

New Year's Eve Gathering

New Year's Eve gathering at ECP Mac Cafe with a special addition to the team - Chichi the cute dog. =)

Love Poem

Let me try to be romantic for once ok? =P

Yearning is my Heart and
Longing for you my heart yearns
You are closer than it seems but
You are as far as east is from the west
I sense you coming to me but
my heart asks of me not to hallucinate
Is truth and untrue all that I need to unfold?
Or is me I need to true and seek?
This battle my heart fights and never ceases
Is it grace to end the voyage or
Is it victory to battle with bravery?
Is it not pain to be in this battle?
Or is this pain for happiness?
For if the goal never meet
The battle never starts
Yet if this battle ground is common ground
How can this waging score not start?
Yearning is my Heart and
Longing for you my heart yearns
I choose to fight this battle
For my only belief is you I only seek

-Daniel

Chinese New Year Eve.

Happy Chinese New Year Eve to all you. Anyone who even comes to this blog. Time for reunion dinner. This year, I will definately appreciate the foods on the table more. After all, I had a experience of a life buying fishball with my grandmother. =P

Planned to go for Marketing today. Seems like non of my group members are going. Joan is not. Jiamei is not. Winlin is in Malaysia. No need to say about BuanKiat, haha. The ultimate reason for not going is realised. Anyway, fetched Jiamei to school for lesson and had breakfast together. She was mentioning new year cloths. Yah, man. I have not bought any. And it is not my usual self to buy any stuffs. I remembered in TPJC times, I needed a few of my cell group girls to force me into going shopping. They even picked the pants for me!!!!!!!!!

Was thinking of following Jiamei to buy some cloths but she went off with some friends instead. Then there was I. Bored and bored. Then Jinfu came along. He suggested food outside. And then, we were at geylang eating BAN MIAN. The place was hot hot hot!! but it kinda made the food tastier.

On the Road more than on the Feet!

Ok listen. My cell leader told me about this "minus" of having a driving license. Yes yes I feel it. Today a series of event sent me onto the road. I am just back! I am so tired! Tired!!!! I did not touch the books at all!!!! What is happening to the Study Boy??

Finance Meeting in the morning. Unproductive. Rush back to return van to mum. Then came the Annex 2 flood. Took the van, rushed all the way back to SMU and cleared the room of all wet carpets and such. Call came, I am tasked to pick my grandma from Bedok 85 Market. Rushed there and followed my AhMa to buy fish heads and fishballs. EYEOPENER!!!! I never imagine buying fishballs can be like that of queing for Hello Kitty dolls!!!!

Then finally, HOME! Dad called. I am now tasked to help my cousin from China to shift house. So we shifted from 7pm all the wat till 11pm. I am dead tired! KILL ME!!!

Tml got Finance make-up, should I go? .... Hmm... then there is Marketing. Different. Must go.

Ok at last. Showing off my Yellow Kangoo. Nothing much compared to those rich kids in SMU with their BMWs, Celicas or Subaru WRX. My Yellow baby is here to kick their pride off with my super cheap diesel fuel. And to top it up, plenty of soft toys to add that warmth and cosyness.

Ok I like to pose! Haha.. This is one of my favourite S90 Yamaha Stage Piano. It served me well. This is the band room. Rockers yearn to have this kind of facilities to jam. Aiyah, jamming is fun, thanks to my wonderful and all time power-packed "Kyros" Team.

One BIG Next Step - My Driving License

For many months, since last year, I have worked hard on my driving. Lessons after lessons, and payments after payments. I grew from a shaky driver to one of more confidence and alertness.

I can still remember those days, where I feared the car rolling back, or having to control the clutch at its half-bite-point during U-Turn etc. I had trouble switching lanes, because I kept thinking that the car on the other lane wasn't really far enough for me to switch in (but it was waiting for me all the while!).

Today, I have with me my driving license in my wallet. My joy and my pride. I only have Jesus to thank for being faithful to me even during the test. I remembered it was shaky and I constantly was under some comments from the testor. Then came the moment when I walked with him to the room where he explained his evaluation. 14 points. I had 14 points. 20 constitute a failure. Praise God!

Today, I am a major shareholder of the yellow kangoo van my family has. It is my main mode of transport now. My father never fail to remind me of how cheap the diesel is and that a per day $3 bus ride can afford me unlimited time on the van. He and my mother is the biggest supportor of me driving a kangoo to school.

Dad is considering to scrap this 2nd hand yellow kangoo for a new Berlingo. Same kind of "kangoo". He was even "joking on getting 2, so the family do not have to fight over the van on weekends. Haha!!! But I know the limits. If he did buy 2, that is a great financial gift to us, or to me at least. I am grateful even now with this lovely yellow turtle of mine. Because I know I do not deserve to have a personal vehicle at such an age. And that whatever I have is because of my parent's love for me.

Thanks dad!! Today, I am a part-time driver for my grandma and maid on their road trips to supermarkets, or to fetch my brother from SIM in the nights etc. But I love doing it. Because I love my family.

Serving with my worship team "Kyros" during a Youth
Service at Touch Community Theatre in Bukit Merah.

This is where I play the keyboard for my church's
Christmas Bash at Fort Canning.It was an ultimate
experience in worship and carols!