The Passerby Journal

A very interesting contribution by my friend, better know as the PasserBy:

In the world of passersby, people come and go before you even realized it at times. Some may be with you for seconds, some days, some years but the gist of their appearances or disappearances does not lie in the length nor the benefits they bring to you. The crux of it all is the amazement of life that in this world of billions, these people actually crossed path with you, you being on this earth for only nearly 70-90 years until further medical advances.There are people whom we like more than the rest, there are other whom we hoped we have never had met. But in them all, we can learn about a bit more about ourselves and about humanity.Being kind is often understated nowadays. Being cool is in, be devoid of feelings is coolish. Everyone is attracted to the beautiful and gorgeous that nobody care for the passersby.Kindless does not always beget kindness. However, one should not be any less kind because this is a common language across all diversities.When one does pass your path and move on one day, it is also time you do the same. The ending may not be a one that you have desired for but the kind memories that encapsuled both of you will bring smiles on your faces for a long while to come, not now but in the near future.Be happy.

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I do feel blessed that there are indeed pple who sits with me at the roundtable.

Violin violin violin violin!!!! 

Some drawings I drew for my TWC projects. Maybe I should be an interior designer yah?  

I was chatting to a female friend of mine. She mentioned something that interests me. She says that you can know alot about a guy from his environment. Maybe the car he drives or the way he drives. Also from the way his home, especially the bedroom, looked, you can almost be 80% able to tell something about him. Now tell me something about myself then. 

The week was tough. Endless deadlines to fufill. You push yourself to the limits. Your body weakens as you overdrive it. You could not stop. The motion must go on or it will cease. By above all, you are doing it because of some motivation. There is this prize at the end of the road waiting. You press on.

But now I feel lost more than ever. So empty more than ever. This body and mind now weary. I wish I was like before. Endless joys and fellowship. The laughters everywhere and interactions heartwarming.

Kermit's Update

Why do you stand there?
He fell and needs a helping hand.
You stood there and you looked.
You did not move. You stared.
He needed help. He struggles.
You did not move.
He was old and needy.
He lost strength and balance.
You did not move.
Why?
How much a stone can your heart be?
I wished I never have to meet anyone like you ever again.
My your conscious hunt you down.
May you not never be able to be a victim yourself.
You are just a disgrace to humanity.
You made me upset though I do not know you.

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For the first time, I saw a house much bigger than Sennett. Impressive. Lush gardens. Jaguar. Gracious chinese furnitures. Plenty of floor space. A Steinway grand piano. Central air conditioning system. Lotsa lights. Cosy. Designer. Fantastic. Dream. Lovely.

Freshly brewd coffee. Tuna Toast. Chips. Marble floor. Carpeted floor. Timber finish. Marine aquarium.

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Have not seen my parents or eaten at home for over 2 weeks. For a week I've not brought my grandma to the market.

Projects. Work. Unmanaged time. Lost in efficiency.

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Lost in Orchard. Found in Lornie. Back in Ngee Ann. A great friend's wedding. The blessings of God. Old buddies reunited.

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They say feelings come and go. Time heal all wounds. I agree. I disagree. They say you bring pain to yourself. Hope dun have a limit. Yet hope dies.

To detach from your burdens you escape. But when it is not an option you live with it. It only takes a black dot to defile the purity of white. You can overlook it but you cannot escape fact.

You lead on.

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It is just $4. I hide it for long. My pencil case. Many saw. Many sigh. Many those are friends. Many those gave a *pat*. Thanks. I could not find the chance. There is no chance. There is no meaning.

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God exists I believe. To live as God exists I fall short. This battle deep and destroying. Yet this subtle is its effect for your knowledge. It is no complication. God exist. Your life exist. God in your life? You really sure God is there? He is there! you sure? He is? Then again are u truely convinced?

Get thee behind me satan.

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I am tired. I am weary. I am weak. I am drained. I wished those smiles are genuine and I wished I am true to myself. I wish life was a simple as God's unfailing hand I can feel and hold on every moment. I wished I never had to sit alone by myself to start thinking what life i am living.

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Learning to love yourself. Is the greatest gift. Jesus.

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Love yourself. Because God loves you. Dun love others for yourself. Get what I mean?

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Kermit

Under the Stars

At first I was worried. Will there be a good turnout? It just rained. I feel bogged down by the fact that the next day is my Marketing Quiz. What unsettled heart. But the song just ran in my head. We moved the piano, the guitars and the amps. Slowly the stage was set up. The bands did their soundcheck.........

It was Faye and the Guitarist. I cheered. A beautiful lady. A good friend with a guitar on hand. They sang. We are captivated. The sky darkened. The lights lit. Moods of different colors and shades. Smoke vapor filled the air. It was music.

Soon, it was our turn. I took stage on the piano. And I started. The crowd was great and strong. They cheered us. Nothing moved me more when I played the introduction for 'You and I'. Jamiel opened his mouth. The crowd was silent. They swayed. They hugged.

Resounding success. Starry Starry Night. Closing, we held our hands and danced. It was party. It was also the time to be with friends to dance around. Yes, your friends. Those that came because they wanted to give you support. It was after project meetings. The mind tired and body drained. Still they come. To be there so that when you look down the stage, they showed you a thumbs up! Some even stayed through the day though they ended class very early. Thank you my Guitarissimo friends and the famous F4.

Thank you people. I love you all!

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Orchestration for "You and I" done. Some people critiqued. Yet I know what I want and I appreciate their comments. But again, I want what I want. I know the standard that I want to abide to. So please just let me do it my way. Especially when I show it that I really want it. Please dun tell me it is slow. It is just that musicians speed up and cannot follow the metronome. So pack up and give yourself some training and stop complaining. But still, critics bring about improvements.

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Fiona and Eunice you're the best. God will be our helper in our CAT project. Thanks for being such caring and easy going mates. Thanks for letting me drive the RAV4. Thanks to you both for your constant encouragment to me. =)

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My P250. You are my buddy and my pal. You speak my language and you feel what I feel. I love you. I bring out your beauty, the way you bring out my gifts. We will work together.

My little red, why you become so unsmooth recently? I am beginning to feel worried. Abut noisy also. Hmmmm.... will shower you soon!

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I know I have Marketing and Finance Quiz to study, but I am rather happy and excited about what just happened.

I will be performing for Starry Starry Night in SMU. Over the course of last few weeks, maybe it is the ups and downs emotional earthquake in me, sparked of some really musical refuge in me. Very often, I hide in the studio with my P250 playing those chords and progression that best reflects my heart at those moments.

It is then, Jamiel will somehow click with the music, and begin to sing a new song. And over that week, we created the new "What Am I" original. What is more fantastic is that we have just created another original composition can "You and I". This is a very mellow and sad, and yet memories seeking kind of song. You need to hear it to feel it. We managed to do up a draft MP3 for it. It is just lovely. My piano and Jamiel's voice just have that chemistry.

This song almost brought tears to my eyes, because memories seeking songs somehow evoked what happened to me recently. However, friends were there for me. This is how the draft lyrics go...

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What about sunshine
What about all the birds and bees
What about happiness
That you tried to show to me
What about all the things
That we build through all these years
You know that we could make it if we try
You know that we can make it you and I

What about all the friends
What about all the love we shared
What about tenderness
For the ones we really cared
What about all the things
That we build through all these years
You know that we could make it if we try
You know that we can make it you and I

Copyright by Jamiel and Daniel

If you think hope still exists at this stage, you are either a fool, or you might just be plain blessed. But no matter what the truth is, if you can still spare some memories for those who really cares and stood by you, you can be sure that they are the ones whom really gives you hope and the strength to live for tomorrow.

Thank you friends. I mean you. My friend.

Jo, this is such a well taken pic that I decided to put it up. So filled with love and care. *winks*

This is a hard lesson to learn. However hard it is, it will be the way it is. So learn it ok? .........> You are born the way you are. There is no need to compare with the rest. Try to love yourself, the way you are.

I want to wake up every morning with my love ones, looking at this scenic sight. And start the day with joy.

Ok here is how my Sunday went:

Woke up from bed realising that I fell asleep last night without showering or brushing teeth clad only in a piece of shorts, naked and hugging a pillow, cuddled up in one corner.

Showered and headed to Killinies (is that how u spell it?) with sis-in-law and brother. 2 eggs, bread and meesiam!

Then went GIANT at parkway to shop for groceries. I bought a blind spot mirror for my van. My van is cluttered in droppings after my bro took it out. How disturbing. The cash card is down to $2 and i am still looking to see if he will voice it up or something.

I am sitting alone here
Along the corridor of Library outside
The field is green and the trees wave in the wind

The sun is bright
The wind pretty strong
Ocean peace

"One way Jesus"
The music played

What has life become of me?
So much has changed
So much has happened

I was at Planet Shakers
Youths are on fire
Worship is arising

Praise the Lord oh my God
You have taken me thus far
Forgive for my mistakes
Wrong priorities

God will make a way
When there seems to be no way
You work in ways we cannot see
You will make a way for me

You are with me as I walked this wrong way
As I turned away from you
You came even closer
As I shun you
You held me tighter

Now I am broken
My life I deem a mess
My relationships I failed
My walk with you long gone

Now I say
I'm sorry
God my dad
Are you there?

I can't help
I'm feeling so confused
I can't help
I've got to live without you

I've cried out
To the seas beyond my sight
I'm caught up
Having you in my heart

You took
You took all my heart could gave
You've brought
All the joy that lift my life
But I know
That this dream I am living
Is the dream that I wished I would never leave

So caught up
Am I when you're in sight
So blessed
When you gave that gentle touch

I'm so glad
I've tried it all it takes
Life's too bad
I don't have what it takes

On board the 4Friends. Sailing sailing sailing. Not to forget some own cooked meal. Oh boy do I miss sailing. But it was so different from my days on board the warships.

A drawing I drew. Worth a million dollars now...

Me and my music buddy Lester! Me and my piano, Lester and his violin. Sweet! The violin cost more than my piano...

Ok, picture delight once more!!! A picture of my rojak band at Bukit Merah TCT. Advocate for playing piano standing up. That is where the groove come in! Groovy baby!

If nothing is expected of you, the extra mile you take will be only attributed to your outpouring from your own within. It should not command any returns and definately, you should not expect any favor back. Because it was never expected of you, you have nothing to be accountable for and you do not have a claim. So do not be angered, upset or dissapointed. This is simply because you cannot assume that the recieving party is obliged to your act of kindness.

It takes alot to play naked on a piano and pass it off. There you have it, the malaysian I was talking about. The piano prodigy. If he can hear it, he can play it.

Am I lucky or what? Someone actually made a apple to cheer me up after I was damn sad la! =) Think she is trying very hard... hahahaha

IT's HERE!!!!!!!!

Both are single and available. Both stay at homes valued at $5million and $1million respectively. their handphone numbers are ........ =P

the following is the continuation of the dad and son talk over SMS:

Kermit: Dad so who drive?
Dad: Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu and others
Dad: Kangon was so smooth. So quiet. So sexy. Take good care.
Kermit: Hahaha.... dad your message very funny!
Dad: 2moro u ride new kango ok?
Kermit: Onz!

Reflections: My dad still has a sense of humor when it comes to sms. Firstly, his typo always left right centre. But damn, he loves me lots!! How often do u have a dad that buys a van for your personnal use straight after u get your license with the reason quoted " Diesel is cheaper than your bus fare "... and "$50 you cannot even finish the tank!"..... I thank Daddy in heaven for the daddy on earth. Shiok right I got 2 daddies!

Mother got some sense of humor.... always saying wife must can cook, can wash cloths and stuffs. And she always say i am an ang moh... cos I dyed my hair last time. And she boast of how handsome I am and should get a long Q of gals.

I did a check on that... and found it the total opposite. My mum was wrong. Statistics collected and sampled from SMU showed the total collapse of her claim. Roar!!!!!!!!!!!! As studied even in FCBC.... fail!!! Roar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Number of listeners melting to my piano..... Mean=all, SD=4.78.
Number of glas melting to my piano...... Mean=all, SD=0.0000000001234311231341

ROAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Songs Mastered on P250 in SMU Lounge:

#1: Rainbow Connection
#2: Broken Vow

digitally enhanced by heavy use of reverb and Jinfu as soundman. Meow!!!

TARGET to Harass:
1) My Apprentice Phebe. - Goal is to drill her fingers spacing on the piano. Whack her and drill her until she can play like me. Until the piano is no longer a piano but a percussion. Until she can handle and lead the team on the piano... and send her out to other bands... Muhahaha...*evil* so that i can take back my seat on the piano on stage!!!! Sytnh is just boring!!! *Bleah*

my 3 love: 1) SizzleSynthBrass 2)3-Octave Strings 3)JazzyOrgan

Top desire to maintain: Jesus and God and Holy Ghost
Top desire on earth: Her!... her her her her.... *10,15,01,14*
Top Food: Pig Leg and salty Vegetables!
Top Fun: DW Drums.
Top Drive: Kangoo Turbo!
Top Group: Ah Sia Federation
Top stay: A 3 story Bungalow at Sennett Hill.
Top Flop: learning the Violin

... i tired liao...sorry continue next time.... gotta go market with ahma later...night!!!!

Love, Daniel...

How many of you still live chickens roaming in Singapore today?!?!?!?!!?

Dear friends, thanks for being great buddies. What to do? You hear the most disastrous news and you wished what you heard was distorted, not true and never meant to be. But things are going on well. Managed to indulge in alot of suppers with my Ah Sia federation pals (People who live in houses costing more than a million sing dollars!!!). Tho they do not know my plight, but they are giving me a hell lot of great time! I have been singing Josh Goban's sing alot in SMU Studio lounge. I cannot sing like him. But I can feel the lyrics.. Heh. P250 rocks! Of course, those project meeting goes on and on but somehow I did'nt felt like what i used to towards her before already. Maybe because i have settled my heart and mind. I became calm and am able to concentrate better now and focus on my work. Less silly thoughts. Maybe what bearnie said was true. And it did felt better yeah? Drowning myself in late nights with my Ah Sia federation..haha. And also this decal we are trying to design and print. hahahaah. Anyway I recieve this following smses from my dad:

Dad: Butiful kangoo GY 3438 L
Kermit: Wah !!!!!!!
Dad: Sure wah la! Some more Kangoo cycle

My dad's language over sms is real funny!

I need to complain about some asses in SMU who parked anyhow and block out my poor van. So bad I had to spend 5min just trying to get out of my box. Do they want me to scratch their car or waht?!!??! Do they not care... thankfully I did it slowly and left their bloody cars alone! After all, my van can withstand all kinds of ....

I think life is becoming dull after some episodes. Or maybe better because of those around me. But school work can kill man! Worst is I am not feeling worried!!! I wished i can be as cheerful as winlin and her bf. They seem to have nothing to worry about. Jinfu, who is as calm as ever. YH, who literally is a ass and thinks he is the king of the world with nothign to worry becuase he thinks he is the handsome chap. Bernie, who has a positive outlook of life. or even, that cat in the studio that has nothing to worry about except wave its irritating hand all day long!

ROAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I want to thank the buddies of the round table today. They are the following: Jinfu, Anthony, Shuhui, Yuhong and Bernie. They have been God-sent today at the moment when I needed some people to be with today. Following through today wasn't easy. Not especially when the revelation has something to say. None of it I've wanted to hear. These following have been around, just to be with me. I enjoyed myself thoroughly and just am myself in your presence! SMU couldn't be any better without you guys! Dun worry my buddies. The journey never ends. And a brand new tomorrow always await doesn't it? I am going to begin this journey. It has been a standstill. But putting all those not worthwhile and starting to walk ahead, is always something to rejoice about. With a beer or maybe our usual merry music making, lets carry on and enjoy all those life have to offer. Brothers and sisters, thanks!

Tell me his name I want to know. The way he looks and where you go. I need to see his face I nees to understand. Why you and I came to an end. Tell me again I want to hear. Who broke my faith in all these years. Who lays with you at night while I'm here all alone, remembering when I was your own. I let you go. I let you fly. Why do I keep, on asking why. I let you go. Now that I've found, a way to keep somehow. More than a broken vow. Tell me the words I never said. Show me the tears you never shed. Give me the touch you promised to be mine. Or has it vanished for all time? I give my away my soul to hold you once again and never let this promise end.

I think I forgot someone who is just as prodigy. This someone is special. She is a she. She is in SMU too. She like me, plays the piano as a serving unto the Lord. We know our skills came from God himself. I've heard her play. And I've heard her sing. It is angelic, annointed and just awesome worship. So special person right? Yup, she plays the keyboard very well too. It is coupled with a very pure heart. She can play the flute too. I've heard it myself and I testify.

There is an obvious reason why I would post this photo. This is because I have seen for myself the amount of piano prodigies in SMU alone. Long ago, I tot Kermit Darnie monopolized the reign of pop void deck piano playing without a single bean sprout. Then came this Bubong from Malaysia who can offer perfect pitch no matter what it is. Listen to a song and replicate in exactly with the chords all figured out. However, I still had to teach him to play the piano like a percussion. I feel better then. Then came HAN who plays the guitar like a pro. DAMN! he is a PRO! He plays Jazz and I literally wet my pants!!! Then wihin the same day! My friend Manjie came in and rock my chairs off with his jazz and original composition for his sweet and lovely GF Winlin!!!! Is that not just mind boggling!!!! Bubong and myself we became gays at that moment when we were standing beside him and the piano. Eeeee!!! Oh man, in the end, both of us knelt on our knees asking MJ to teach us. Winlin acknoeledged that MJ's piano was a core factor in chasing her. Then came the sweet story of Kermit, the piano cupid, who gets people attached by teaching them piano... but fail like a "hum" himself. What the!!!!!! Kermit Kermit... when is your courage gathering. Or is there not a tinkle of gleaming hope?...

They never let me down. Yes. They don't. Look at their faces. Remember them. Once they leave SMU, you might never enjoy music as you would anymore. Thats me from the left, Bubong, Bernie and last but not least, Monkey Alex. They are my brudders in SMU. I like to put Jinfu in but dun have his pic. Though we all have our own lifes, I am glad the 3 of them somehow will fill in the little gaps that make my stay in SMU complete. They are the people who hear my nonsense. Listen to my problems and tell how much a failure i am actually. They will tell me in the face how much i am a "hum"... those thing you eat after boiling them. Yes look at them. They are my buddies. My Brudders. Cheers to Tiger.

I hate you
All these time
You make me think you are who I think you are
And yet
You took a turn and made my world crumble
Your silence and indifference
Puts me into my grave
As I decifer the meanings behind all these signs
Your facade shines
And yet behind it is all that lies and darkness
You pierced that knife silently into my heart
And yet you do not know what you are doing
I hate you
You sum up and gathered all my strength
All those life I poured out
You have taken and disposed
Now you leave me to my own grave
I called out again and again
Wishing you would wake and find out what's wrong
But you did all those as you did
You leave me with no choice
But to die into the grave with all that hatred towards you
I have erased you from my thoughts
No ties, No memories
My body sicks when I have to decifer all these time
You are evil and do not deserve my mercy
I put you to your own doings
You will treat me as you will
But my eyes I fill with hatred as I looked at you
Now. Yes now.

Wow!!! This is my 2nd public performance. This time is at Tiong Bahru Shopping Centre. It was a Arts Outreach Programme by National Arts Council. We won the top prize as most supported group and we got $100 cash Prize!!!! Yiipeeeee!!!! Who says amatuer people cannot perform. Passion is all it takes.

It is just the piano and me
We have to touch one another
Join our souls together
And move together
To bring our lovely melody
To the world around us
If you and I are seperate
We are dead alone
And we do not shine like stars
You might be simple black and white keys
Yet you shine the most when you work with me
And trust me when I move with you
And that your music will reflect my inner heart
Yes it is you and me
Just you and me

Have u ever reached a stage where the war within you so intensifies? A stage where you are pissed at yourself? You so much wanted to do something and you thought you've done it all. But the fact you moved without taking a single step. That is, your feelings only. Your mind. On one hand, you so much want to do this. Get it done with! The other hand, refrains and hides. Refusing to even lay itself on the matter. Then this war wage and you feel torn apart. Suddenly, the world is against you. Suddenly no thing is fair to you at all anymore. You feel cheated, you feel betrayed and you feel left out. Yet in the real, nothing is happening other than this wrecked spirit of yours. You can curse all you want and you can blame anything in your path. You are wasted. Understand? Face it. You are not what the society says you should be. Sorry. You fail ass and forget about being thw world. Cos you cannot. You are just not up to it. Buzz off u fly. Wanna succeed? Go be like this, like him, like her. Dun come back if u can't. If it is, then hide in that corner can carry on with your life as a fiddler. Live that unglam and only hope to envy. Too bad. Just too bad. But hey sorry, dude, I am giving up. Enough of this shit. I get my own life now. No because I am not worth it. But because you dun even care a shoots about me. Not because I have fail, but i think I can do better without you!

I hope you dun mind
I hope you dun mind
That I put down in words
How wonder life is
That you're in the world

Never knew I could feel like this
Like I've never seen the sky before
Want to vanish inside your kiss
Seasons may change
Winter to Spring
But I love you
Until the end of time

Come what may
Come what may
I will love you
Until my dying days

My drummer's new Tuscani! Notice the expensive number plate!!!!!!

This is my lovely apprentice. Her name is Peeps! That is it because I dunno how to spell her name!!! I I confess I am harsh on her sometimes but it is my duty to mould and shape her into an outstanding keyboardist in church. She should be grateful to me..hahahahaahah!!! =P

Both going soon!!! Likely to a new Kangoo and also maybe a Peugeot 407. HOORAY!!!!

Ok guess who she is. I think you are not dumb! =)

This is my grandma's area. NO ENTRY!!! She sells one of the best rojak in Singapore. The ingredients is I buy with her from market one. The you tiao is fresh and hot!!! MMMmm...

The service area and the cashier area. That's my mummy beside dad. They must be tired from a hard day's work!

My Daddy. He is my source of survival on this earth. Other than that, I am dead! Notice the Montblanc pen!...

Ok this is my parent's cafe. Fernvale Cafe. I am a major stakeholder here because I was responsible for the decoration and also the ordering system. I am little boss! =P

IF

If only I can grow old with you
If only I can bring breakfast to your bed every morning
If only I can walk with you every evening at the beach
If only I can cuddle you when you are cold

If will only be if

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Guys, I am lacking time and sleep!!!
So much things!!!
ARGH!!!!

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Oh yeah! Ain't these guys just HOT!?! They are FCBC's most eligible bachelors! They are more talented than have the looks! Muhahahah!!! The great introduction: Eddie Boy on Bass, Peter Pan on Drums, Johnny boy on Acoustic, BOH on Electric Guit, Darnie Pig on Keys and Charlie Bord on Synth.

This is the little string ensemble group me and lester formed. We are all beginning players mostly. Some are better players. We performed our first debut for the Old Folks home. Our upcoming one is this ArtsReach at Thiong Bahru there. Practising hard at nights. Everyone sacrifice alot. But it is all worth it!

Yio! Something I am quite proud of! I learned violin for less than a year!